How to Let Someone Down Easy

The best messages to send when you just don't feel that spark.
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We’ve all been there – you’ve been chatting with someone for a while, you meet up for a first date and there’s just no spark. You leave the date feeling a little disappointed but you shake it off, and then a couple hours or days later you get a follow-up text. Your heart sinks a little and you have to wonder how they didn’t feel the lack of chemistry.

Now, if you’ve been in the dating game for a while, you have probably been ghosted and know that it is one of the worst feelings. In an attempt to approach the situation with empathy, the best step forward is to send them a quick light-hearted but to-the-point message and let them down easy. Of course if you’ve been seeing someone for a while, the best way is face to face, but for those one date wonders, a quick message will suffice!

A text is better than nothing when you let someone down easy

Here’s what to say

Here are a couple copy-and-paste messages that you can send that are kind and direct. A nice message is the best way to let someone down easy.


  • “Thank you so much for the date! You are wonderful but I just didn’t feel a spark between us. I know you’ll find your person! Good luck with everything.”
  • “I had a great time with you, but I really do feel like we would be better as friends if that is something you would be into!”
  • “Thanks for a fun time! I am focusing on looking for something more serious and I don’t see this going in that direction, but I hope you find what you’re looking for!”
  • “I really respect you so I want to be straightforward – I think you are great and I had a nice time, but I don’t see this going anywhere. Best of luck in your search!”
  • “Thanks for a great time! To be honest, I’m not really in a place to be dating, and it seems like you are looking for something more serious! But it was great to meet you.”
  • “Thanks again! I had a nice time but honestly I didn’t feel the connection I am looking for. Good luck out there!”

Sooner is truly better when it comes to a message to let someone down easy. The longer you leave them in the dark, the longer they may halt their search for finding what they are looking for. Be honest and set them free so that you both can move on and become that much closer to finding whatever it is that you are both looking for. 

If you are looking for fun ideas for your next first date, click here!