Written By: Melissa Buzan
May The Love Gods Be With You.
What are the pros of being in a long distance relationship?
Yet more and more couples are in one. So, why do we do it? Well, love makes people do crazy things, and what’s more insane than a LDR? I’m not judging. In fact, I’m completely immersed in one – going on 3 strong.
It’s a life choice which takes dedication and endurance just like being a vegetarian. (I’m guilty of that too). Point is, doing it takes a lot of thought and consideration. I’m no relationship expert, but I’ve learned a lot from the high’s and low’s. Going off that, here’s what you need to know about a LDR:
- It’s Hard As Hell -Your relationship could be from Calgary to Edmonton, or from Calgary to China; either way it’s going to be extremely difficult. If you’re going to do it, make sure it’s with someone you’re pretty committed to already. When things get tough, you’ll need to be reminded of why you agreed to it in the first place.
- You’re Going To Be Lonely – It’s best to just accept it. When your partner in crime is M.I.A. you’ll have a lot of moments focusing on this and subsequently being miserable. It’s okay to feel this way, but also extremely important to stay positive. You don’t want to find yourself in a rut. Keep distracted! Take on a new hobby, and surround yourself with good friends and fam. They will help you get through the “1 Is The Loneliest Number” times.
- Set Some Ground Rules – Both of you will have different expectations going into a LDR, and these will change over time. Be sure to voice what they are, and be understanding of your partners thoughts. Establish whether you are completely exclusive or loosely together. Don’t hesitate, just ask what needs to be questioned, and go from there.
- You’re Going To Get Jealous – Going off of number three, it’s best to tell your bf/gf what you’re cool with. There WILL BE a fight if you don’t. This doesn’t mean you have to ask permission every time go out with co-workers for a drink – but maybe if you know where he/she stands you won’t make the mistake of hanging out with an unknown friend alone, and hurting your partners feelings.
- You’re Going To Feel Guilty – This can derive from the above mistake, but I find most guilt comes from not being able to visit as often as you’d like. Life gets in the way , and sometimes it will interfere with plans you guys make, like visitation and Skype dates. You’ll feel awful if you’re the one cancelling, just make sure you tell your partner you’re sorry, and RESCHEDULE.
- You’ll Need To Get Creative – Keeping the spark alive is important. Let the creative juices flow and come up with new ways you guys can do things “together” without being together. Try watching something on Netflix at the same time while commentating via text message. Also, do not underestimate the power of a sexy Skype date 😉
- Communication Will Need To Be On Point – This doesn’t mean just voicing your expectations and concerns – it’s the little things. Ask your partner how their day was, and tell them about yours. Keep them in the loop with your plans – this will remind them they’re on your mind. Send a “Good morning/ Goodnight” text everyday. Make frequent phone calls, video chat… hey, even email. We’re in the internet age, there are no excuses.
- Pick Your Battles – Miscommunication is a frequent problem when you’re not face-to-face. A single text can be interpreted in so many ways. Not only that, you’ll be feeling miserable that you’re alone and you’ll likely take it out on them. Understand you both are feeling the same way and let some things go. Don’t allow anything more than distance to come between you two.
- Visit Often– This may be hard if traveling is only possible by flight, but find a way to make it happen! You can send as many kissing emojis as you like, but nothing beats a tangible interaction.
- Have A Mutual Goal – Let’s face it, no one can do long distance forever – And why would you want to?! Eventually, you’ll both need to decide what to do. You should see a longterm future with that person, because one of you may need to make the move. If you don’t see it, or aren’t willing to compromise, that says a lot about where you stand.
Long distance is hard, exhausting, and you’ll question why you decided to take it on everyday. The answer should be simple:
Because I love them
[AWWWWWW] But seriously – You’ll find you can face any obstacle with this in mind. Now go take on this adventure, as impractical and insane as it is.