The summer of 2012 I was in a bit of rut to say the least. I was at a point in my life where everything was colliding.School became a hot zone of pamphlets, posters and people hounding you to make present decisions about your future, as if everyone had a detailed timeline of where they wanted to be at the age of 21. 5-year and 10-year plans were the norm.
Family and friends became news reporters, “What are you going to do when you graduate?”, “What’s next?”, “What are your plans when you’re done?” Then I had the friends who were getting their shit together. Getting 9 – 5’s like it was no big deal while I’m struggling to carry dishes and beer on a tray and books in my hand.
Then the girlfriends who were in blissful long-term relationships, the kind of relationship where you’re so happy for them you’re disgusted that it exists and that you have yet to find it. But I also had girlfriends where they played the game better than any man I knew. Man eating, holding down a 9-5 and balancing every other aspect of their life flawlessly. So as Winter semester ended and Summer arrived my best friend and I decided to dedicate the Summer to us. We called it the “do you summer”. I got advice that summer to get on the “Yes Train” so that’s what I did.
The rules to the “Yes Train”:
1. The answer is always “yes”. (Unless you’re sick or dying, that’s an acceptable reason to say “no”.)
2. Be open-minded
3. Leave the resting bitch face at home and you have to learn how to play nice.
4. There is a time limit to any event.
You don’t have to stay till “last call”. But give it enough time to get comfortable and look around and talk to people. (Where ever you are.) Coming through the doors and downing your drink and leaving does not count! Turn your ass around and mingle!
5. Everybody gets one. – If random people talk to you, be nice and talk to them. Don’t be so quick to cut them off and dip.
6. And lastly just try. Try to have fun try to participate and try to engage with others.
-These rules are a must no ifs ands or buts, If you can not comply get off the train!-
So that summer whenever my friends asked me to go out. It was always “yes” and being tired or lazy was no longer a valid excuse.
My best friend would ask, “Want to go to the gym?” – Me- “Yes, I already look like shit.”
“Want to drink after work? – Me- “yes, I am so thirsty”
After going to school from 8 am- 5 pm and then working 5:30- 11:00 pm and 4 hours of sleep trying to finish up a paper, my best friend asks “Want to go out to V-Bar?” And what is my answer? “YES, curling my hair now”
That summer we tried new things, new restaurants and new spots to hang out, and made new friends. We planned to do whatever we wanted and go back to the basic building blocks of happiness, just be happy with what we have and with each other.
We went to Ship & Anchor, Jamesons, Melrose and The Rose & Crown from Monday- Thursday and from Friday- Sunday we cycled through V-bar, Commonwealth, West and Hi-Fi.
As summer came to an end there was a calm to me. I stopped stressing. I stopped obsessing over school and the fact I was the least organized out of all my friends but I would like to think I was the happiest. I told my friends and family that “I still have time to figure it out”, and I was happy being single, not having to feel tied down or not having anyone to answer too.
But by the end of that Summer things that I weren’t looking for began popping up. I met “him” the weekend of Thanksgiving a weekend I didn’t want to go out, but did anyways. Wasn’t interested in getting a boyfriend but low and behold 2 years later my thought to be one-night stand turned into a two year-night stand. And I could not be any happier.
I changed jobs and was open to doing an internship and slowly realizing my strengths and what I wanted to do. You won’t realize it but being on the “Yes Train” allows you to stop and try new things. Getting out of your comfort zone is important and completely necessary, and at times it will get uncomfortable but who knows you might like the next stop and won’t have to get back on, all you have to say is “yes”.