Not a Doctor- Part Three

Is "I'm not ready" a cop-out? Or is it a real thing? Female, 26

It's real. The person saying this more than likely wants to move on and that is why they invited you into there life. But they are holding onto something from the past. Pretty good chance you aren't the one. Basically you are Noah’s side piece from the Nicholas Sparks hit novel turned movie favourite The Notebook- just there to pass the time on a cold and lonely night.

The hard hitting realities about dating you’ve probably already told yourself, but were too stupid to listen to.

Is “I’m not ready” a cop-out? Or is it a real thing? Female, 26

It’s real. The person saying this more than likely wants to move on and that is why they invited you into there life. But they are holding onto something from the past. Pretty good chance you aren’t the one. Basically you are Noah’s side piece from the Nicholas Sparks hit novel turned movie favourite The Notebook– just there to pass the time on a cold and lonely night.

How important is it for my friends to like the new guy I’m dating? Should I try to get chummy with his friends? Female, 23

Not at all! You can be one of those awesome self-absorbed couples who lose touch with their friends and rely solely on each other for every single moment of life. Fun right? Personally I couldn’t date someone if they didn’t get along with my friends or I with theirs. Not only will your partner’s friends supply an insight to how they generally act (because we all hide those questionable quirks in the beginning), you can gauge a sense of their character by these people.

Do they still refer to people they have known since preschool as a best friend? Or are they the one buying new friendship bracelets every 6 months because they go through friends as often as a seasonal wardrobe? Friends are like family and a person’s affection and commitment towards these people will give you an idea of what you will receive from them as the relationship advances.

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple weeks. We’ve gone on about 5 dates and he meets all my criteria, but the elusive spark is missing. How much time should I give it if I’m just feeling “meh”? He’s really great so I don’t want to pass it up just yet, but I also don’t want to waste my time. Female, 27

Typical female doesn’t know what she wants even though its right in front of her! Jokes aside you answered your own question, you feel “meh.” I am not saying the elusive spark with someone will happen every time, but there should be an attraction- something that gets you a little excited. I recently posted an article to my Facebook that garnered some attention about why you should have sex on a first date.

I am making an assumption here, but I am guessing you geared down and while the engine fired the ride wasn’t all the thrill you had hoped for. Relax, it happens, sometimes you can get along with someone in so many ways and find them to be everything you had hoped for but sexually you just aren’t compatible. Trust me, its a thing, just ask one of my closest female friends.

How important is it to have similar hobbies and interests to your significant other? Do opposites attract or is it a deal breaker? Female, 22

So long as you have an open mind it doesn’t matter at all. Ultimately if you despise each others hobbies it isn’t going to work, but if you are open to sharing experiences with each other it is a great way to build a bond. If in the end you decide basket weaving really isn’t for you at least you gave it a shot.

Whenever I meet a new guy it always starts so promising but about a month in it all goes to shit. It’s like I have a 30-day curse! What am I doing wrong? Female, 27

Infiltrate my life, after 30 days I’ll give you an honest answer. Realistically I can’t answer this without having experienced your 30-day curse. Based on a very broad assumption though that I hope you aren’t offended by considering you brought it up but it is very likely you! If you are offended, fuck it, you brought it up! It’s a pattern you are aware of but maybe the ‘it’s you’ isn’t bad. What if subconsciously you don’t really want anything serious, all the emotional stress, disappointing yet another set of parents, having to close the door when you pee is bullshit too! Enjoy the flings! Why not ride out the passion of a short harmless honeymoon phase over and over again?

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