By Josh Sutton
The hard hitting realities about dating you’ve probably already told yourself, but were too stupid to listen to.
Is it bad if a guy postpones a first date? –Female, 26
Depends- do you believe the excuse he gave you as to why? Based on the fact you asked, I’m guessing you have some doubts. Life is busy and things do come up that take priority over someone so new in a persons life, like the girl he was out with 3 days earlier, who was suddenly available again tonight. First date kiss? Or third date get lucky? Life is all about prioritizing.
Although maybe he really does have to work late, or grandma is very ill. Then again maybe he asked one of your mutual Facebook friends the low down on you and is blowing you off all together. If you are interested do yourself a favour and stop thinking about it. Who cares the motive or logic behind the delay and pick another day that works. If it becomes a habit then cut and run, if not maybe you will have a great time and name your first born after me (i don’t know why it just sounds cool in the movies.)
My best guy friend just confessed his true feelings for me. What do I do if I don’t feel the same but don’t want to ruin our friendship? –Female, 22
Be honest. Unfortunately he has probably felt this way since you first met and his feelings have just grown stronger. If you can put an end to it and leave no doubt that it could maybe happen eventually he will move on. If it ruins your friendship then it wasn’t the friendship you likely thought it was to begin with. I ask you this though, why not give it a chance, isn’t that the ultimate goal for your partner to be your best friend? Remove whatever superficial criteria you have for dating a person and consider why you call this man one of your best friends and why that wouldn’t translate into an excellent partner?
I’ve been casually seeing someone for the last couple of months. Is it okay if I invite him as my date to a friend’s wedding or will that scare him away? -Female, 27
Depends on your definition of casually. If it is between the hours of 10pm-3am and the comfort of your own home then no, don’t extend the invite. If you are regularly seen in public together and have been introduced to each others friends etc. then invite away but proceed with caution. Had I been casually dating someone for a couple months and I received this kind of invite I would consider it an advancement in the relationship, like thanksgiving dinner at the parents house. Those life moments and memories are the thing that build a partnership, at 27 you should be able to have that conversation. Ask, and if he accepts, great! You are likely going down a better path. If he says no, casual is as far as this one goes.
What do I do if I notice my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend is texting him? Do I play it cool and act like I don’t care even though it annoys the shit out of me? –Female, 25
Harbouring your true feelings are the path to any healthy relationship. Right? Not so much. Keep a calm head and ask about it. Every now and then I am sure things come up and are shared. If it is a constant and ongoing occurrence there is an issue. No matter what the response, remain calm. If you get agitated and angry he will likely get defensive and you will get no where.
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up because I moved to a different city for a job. We still really care about each other—but is it a terrible idea to let him visit me? –Female, 22
Would it be disrespectful to anyone else? So long as neither of you is dating anyone else or more importantly would be hurt by re-kindling the old romance for a weekend why not? Let’s be real here though, it is going to suck. Old emotions and heartache will be re-lived. There is another side- you are in a new city leading a new life and maybe this last weekend of lust will be the wake up call to the fact life goes on and it was not meant to be. You can still care for someone and their well being without having to still be with them.