Written by Christopher Totten
Sometimes we all just need a little refresher.
Make sure you have something interesting to contribute to the conversation.
Lets all face it. When we are getting ready for a first date it can be nerve wracking. We sooth our nerves by telling ourselves internal affirmations, such as “Everyone gets nervous on a date” or “Its just a date its no big deal”. While these might work sometimes the truth is that a first date is a big deal, possibly the biggest moment of a relationship or even a chance encounter. Here are some of the easiest ways to avoid having a flat first date.
Phones Are for Fools
Phones these days can be used for a myriad of things, but being a social comfort blanket on a date should not be one of them. Unless your date is going down like the Titanic there is no good reason to be Cate Winslett and white knuckle your phone. Let yourself be surprised and vulnerable for a moment and sometimes good things happen.
Pro Tip – Keep the phone display down on the table or in your bag, where it is still reachable but not temptation for idle hands.
It’s the Little Things
The little things during a first date are big things. Everything during those few minutes gives you a opportunity to make a impression and to come off as being a genuine person, who can care about themselves and others. Hard to pull that off when you roll in wrinkled clothes, and smell like you have been camping with Sasquatch. Make sure you take some time and choose clothes that not only make you feel comfortable, but showcase your style and personality. Leave your bro Sasquatch at the dry cleaners. You won’t miss him.
Pro Tip – Make sure you have clean shined shoes and wear a watch. Handy for the time and makes a statement.
Have Some Questions in Mind
Sounds ridiculous that you might want to study for a date? You don’t need to have a PhD in small talk to pull off the art of conversation, but knowing about things that your date likes and dislikes can go a long way. By taking a couple minutes and comparing a list of likes and dislikes can help transitions those awkward moments into flowing conversation.
Pro Tip – Food preferences and likes can help make someone feel more comfortable, so make note of them and pick a venue that plays to them. Score for you for remembering, and less awkward for them.
Break out the Soap … Don’t be a Dope
Hygiene is important. By taking the time to make sure that your clean and well groomed for the occasion your sending the signals that you have got it together. Even if your version of together is “barely” controlling your breathing after running 4 blocks to make it to the date on time.
Pro Tip – Wear a perfume or cologne to your date that ties into the date
Ladies – Keep it brighter on the floral perfumes and darken to the winter or colder weather.
Gentlemen- Tie your cologne to the venue. If it is dark and moody keep it a little darker and deeper. If the venue is sunny and bright choose lighter cologne.
Sure dates make you question your sanity, and question every life choice you have ever made, but in the end you own yourself, and you own the experience you take from the date. So open yourself up and let your anxiety ridden self sit back and enjoy the ride.