Written by Kelsay Gault
Do men really love bitches?
Let’s answer that with a ‘soft no’ to begin. Here’s why I’m not convinced.
I have not read the book Why Men Love Bitches, but many of my friends have.
Initially, I was sold on the concept and fascinated by the topic. However, I have noticed (first and second hand) that this idea of being a bitch doesn’t really work, especially when it is consciously played out.
Apparently, being a strong and independent woman is now an act of disinterest, even when you are into someone, and is perceived as appearing “out of someone’s league” (or being accused of acting that way).
Let’s analyze this – do you really want to be classified as a “bitch”?
Probably not. There aren’t many scenarios in which that label is used positively. I joke about being a “bad *emoji bee*,” but that isn’t a label I strive for in the real world.
Previously, we visited the idea that acting like a lady is still something that men desire. But, as women, do we really want to take the term bitch and glorify it? I’m not sure if it’s a label we want to re-define. Be that as it may, sociology and feminism aside, I think the short answer is no!
A friend was given this book as a gift and found that it resonated with her. Before you know it, she’s met a great guy, and decides to incorporate advice from the book into their dating life. Some examples? She insists that he must pay (by the way, will this ever be settled?) on their dates, she should not make the first move nor should she text him first. There are some understandable suggestions in this, seeing as women tend to be more tempted than men to initiate conversations or shoot the first text, so maybe some restraint needs to be practiced. That being said, I am still not convinced that this is a hard rule we need to stick to.
Guys are kinda lazy. So, if you are consistently acting like you’re not interested and acting somewhat “bitchy,” they’d assume you aren’t interested and probably stop trying. Am I wrong!? I feel like I am the only person who thinks this! I don’t think I would put in that much effort to someone who doesn’t appear interested.
If you’re wondering why he never texts you first, ask yourself, are you texting him? What would make someone feel like you want to talk to them when you don’t act like it?
The whole “bitchy” and “bossy” conundrum is so common. Yes, I guess I want to be a “boss bitch.” If it means a successful, powerful individual. But, acting “bitchy” can come across as rude and acting “bossy” can be tiring (on both ends).
It’s Games Night YYC!
The dating scene has started to become this game. It’s a mind game. The only games I like are Cards Against Humanity and Scrabble. He has to text me first, I can’t reply too quickly, I won’t pay for this and I’m not making the first move. If you’re doing this then you might as well say aloha! Hello and goodbye.
I’m curious – how does this stuff work on Tinder?
The whole concept and it’s popularity just brings me back to something I mentioned in all my articles: be yourself. Authenticity is magnetic. I’m sure there are some lessons to be learned from this book, but don’t blindly follow something that doesn’t ring true to who you are.