Written by Kelsay Gault
One-night stands can lead to the perfect accident.
Tinder and the like are great ways to connect and have fun, especially if you’re in a new city or travelling. I guess I could be considered “old-fashioned” because I don’t use these dating tools. Well, actually, I used tinder once, chatted with someone who I found out was 17 and then proceeded to delete it immediately…
That being said, I’m all for trying. I find something very satisfying about swinging and hitting a home run, or even striking out. Just fricken do it. Life is too short.
Flashback circa 2011: I was newly single and after fully recovering, I had a rebound. That ended quickly. A few months later, I went out with friends and had no intentions of meeting anyone, let alone taking anyone home (to my parents house, whoa). We ended up taking too many shots of Van Gogh’s Espresso vodka and here I was in a cab with someone I just met. Except, I didn’t feel disappointed in myself like I thought I would. I just felt it out and rolled with it. By the way, we ended up dating for over a year and ended on a very civil note. These things do happen!
Flashback circa 2013: Spent the whole evening at National. I was flirting with a guy who I thought was my type and I thought I was interested in him – but then I noticed was drawn to someone else, this guy in a leather jacket across the bar. Later on the evening, I was bored of the guy who I’d considered as “my type” – as it always seems to go. I then decided to buy this “leather jacket guy,” as I had dubbed him, a drink.
The moral of the story is that this person my eye was naturally drawn to is now my boyfriend. Had I not taken a chance and offered to buy him a drink I would not be writing this today. A one-night stand gone right!
In my humble and often unwise opinion, I think that moments of serendipity are authentic and meaningful, which lead to powerful relationships.
Does any of this count as a one-night stand? Regardless, I have limited experiences with these so-called, and negatively perceived “one-night stands.” The stories of others have inspired me to make a do and do not; there is no try…
Keep in mind: I am not referring to those one-night stands that are riddled with regrets here. That’s another topic and for another day.
Here are my do’s and don’ts when it comes to one-night stands:
USE PROTECTION: That’s obvious.
TAKE A RISK: Just say hello! Who cares what happens next.
TRUST YOUR GUT: I’ve left situations with zero attachments and others with many. If you truly don’t care, then don’t try to. Be cordial, be nice, laugh about it in the morning, but don’t be awkward and definitely do NOT go home with someone your friends are advising you against.
DON’T BE CREEPY: Don’t search for him on Facebook/Instagram and add him the next day, that’s weird.
BE FUNNY: Make a harmless joke and laugh it off. Unless you feel a wild connection, don’t feel like you need to be his Juliet.
DON’T TEXT HIM: Immediately, unless you’ve got a good joke you can execute well. Don’t even ask for his number, unless, again, you trust your gut that there is a connection. If there is, trust me when I say he will ask for yours (and when he does, he will text you.)
LEAVE WITH A SMILE: That is all.
ACT NORMAL: If you bump into him or her again, just be cool. Calgary is a big city, but it’s not that big.
Ladies, according to some…DO LEAVE if he is wearing Playboy bunny printed boxers.
Remember, your 20’s are a time to relish in attention, but not to rely on it. It’s also a time to just do what feels good at the time. Of course, that’s how many stories of heartache sprout from, but I am a huge believer in things happening for a reason.
Trust your gut and it will take you there.