The Sexting Situation
We’re not talking just winky faces.
Have you gotten flirty in a text? Little innuendos or saucy jokes can make texting fun, but there’s a whole other league of legitimate sexting going on. We’re talking descriptions, details and photos…what all have you done?
There are constant discussions about sexting: when it’s appropriate, who to sext with, what’s too much, what’s too little and the entirely separate issue of blackmail. When it comes to those topics, we are going to be a little blunt and offer a few rules of thumb (or “thumbs,” we are texting…).
First: only text when you feel comfortable. It’s meant to be fun and a way to express a side of your sexuality with someone you are interested in. The second it turns negative or you feel harassed; you should stop or look into getting it handled.
Second, rethink the photo-send. It’s obviously easier to sext with someone you’re dating or your significant other, because you usually have access to each other’s phones or hide very little in your relationship. If it’s someone you are just getting to know, wait a while for the saucy pics! You always want to make sure you can 110% trust the person you’re nude-ing to, because you can’t take back a photo once it’s sent!
On a positive note, (which is what we are all about!) it’s likely that sexting is a good thing in most relationships. It can keep the spark alive during a long day at the office when you’re dying to see each other, or if you’re in a long distance relationship it can help keep you connected.
Never wandered down the sexting path? It can be a bit intimidating at first, but if you’re in a comfortable and supportive relationship, (whether it’s just a fling, or you’re married!) it can be a great way to feed that fire. You just have to learn how to ease into it!
Here’s a few pointers or conversation-helpers if you find yourself getting hella-awkward when it’s sexty-time.
Carry out your compliments. By far the easiest way to shift from text to sext. Let’s do the math. Are you seeing someone? Are you sleeping with them? Do you text? Do you like each other? Great. Next time you compliment them, or they compliment you, (let’s hope you are nice to each other if you’re sleeping together!) tie it into something with the bedroom. They probably know what you like, or remember certain experiences you’ve had in bed – all you have to do is bring it into conversation. They say something nice? “Aw, thanks, I love it when you compliment me. Almost as much as I like it when you kiss the back of my neck.” Boom. Easy. Start small and work your way up.
Ask sexy questions. This can help the text to sext shift for those who are getting to know each other and want to sleep together. It also works for those who want to heat up their existing sex life! Being too forward is never cool, but there’s nothing wrong with making it known that you are attracted to the person you are talking to and most likely want to see them naked at some point. Right? Right. The best, non-awkward way to work in these types of questions is to use humor. If you’re getting to know someone, you’ve likely shared a few embarrassing or funny stories. Maybe ask them what their worst or most embarrassing sex story is – then it won’t seem creepy or nosy, just fun and conversational. Once they’ve told you, it’s your chance to jump in with a: “That would never happen with me, I always like to _____________ to make sure my guy/girl is left satisfied!” Now you’ve gotten their attention, and started sex-related conversation. You’re welcome.
Okay, you’ve worked your way into sexting and now you’ve got those hot descriptions going on. You two are comfortable with telling each other what you like, what you want and when you want it – all with the use of words. Want to say a thousand more and send some photos? Keep these things in mind.
Please. Avoid the mirror photo. Not only are they terribly cliché, they are also distracting. No matter how hot you look, if you’re posing in a cluttered bathroom. The second we notice (insert embarrassing bathroom product here) in the picture we’re thrown off. There’s no getting the sexy back.
Wear your best duds. If you aren’t fully comfortable with gettin’ your birthday suit on, pretty lingerie or hot briefs can be just as sexy. Girls, make sure your stuff matches. It gives off the illusion that we are always wearing Victoria’s Secret Runway-worthy getups underneath our work clothes (which we totally are, right?). Guys, no cartoon-character boxers, or tighty-whities. Ladies love Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein and Sax underwear. Whether you actually wear those or not shouldn’t matter, at least buy them for the sake of the photo. It’ll pay off. Those undies make panties drop.
Sexy face or no face. Easy, if you don’t know what to do with your face just send a body shot. If you are set on including your face, but aren’t sure what to do, you can always look away from the camera off into the abyss (classic). It’ll make you’re receiver wonder what you’re thinking about. Or, if you’re super-sexy-text-selfie-extraordinaire, look deeply into the camera with those bedroom eyes. It’ll be so direct and intense that your receiver will know exactly what you want – and it’s them!
Have a sexting situation you want us to include? Leave us your comments and stories!