Ask someone how many people they slept with and they will probably lie to you. But here is why it doesn’t matter.
I am in my late twenties. Twenty six and ten months actually. I have been fortunate to have been in some amazing relationships. Each guy very different from the next but all contributed to who I am today. We laughed, we played, we took trips, we endured the hard times, we met each others families, there was always the possibility of “happily ever after”. I have never been a casual dater. I’m an all in kinda girl. That’s how I like it- I enjoy sharing a life with someone. I like to have my standing Friday night date night and I enjoy doing things as a couple. The nick names, the secret places, the language only a couple in love understands, it has it’s charm.
Now, having said all of this… I am single for the first time in my life and I am looking at the ‘art’ of dating from a different perspective. (I think) I know what I want, or at least I know what I don’t want.
At this point in my life, I know myself very well. I am not going to change and I have a pretty good understanding of what I would like from a man, and from a relationship. But this is from experience, and while I wouldn’t go back and do it any other way I do have some advice for the twenty somethings that are dying to domesticate themselves.
“Date as many people as possible. ”
Date as many people as you can while you’re young. Have seven people on the go if you must. Why? You learn a lot about yourself when you’re dating. You learn what you like and what your non- negotiables are. You also experience a ton. Try new food, venture to new places. Kiss. Have sex.
Go on as many first dates as you possibly can.
Date someone totally wrong for you. Date the musician, the barista, the guy you sweat beside in spin class. You may learn you hate Indian food, you think guys with tattoos are totally hot and you have no desire to travel because you’re quite content right here.
We change so much in our twenties. We grow up, we mature, we change. It’s nearly impossible to grow at the same pace as someone else. You’ll lose yourself and find yourself over and over. Let it happen.
Our ‘needs’ change daily. Our expectations evolve and yet our partner still remains on their path.
Relationships require a secret formula- the sweet spot if you will, that you find only when you truly jive with that other person. But how are you supposed to know what that is without learning what you need? Learning about yourself is going to make you a better partner down the road. Invest in this now and you’ll have a better chance of finding your match and being that power couple later.
Date as many people as possible. You might learn a few things.