The nice thing about Tinder is that if you’re bored, offended, or simply wondering why you swiped right in the first place, you can end all communication instantly. No need for any awkwardness. Half the time you don’t know any of the same people and if you’re lucky, you never hang out at any of the same places. Otherwise you probably would have met them in real life.
Daniel seemed alright. Loved to travel, tall, moderately funny. He asked for my instagram account. Little did he know I had already thoroughly creeped him before swiping right as he so kindly included his username in his profile. I like when they do that. I receive this message shortly after I give him my insta name:
D: “Uh oh, you have a cat”
Me: “Yes I do. A really fluffy one.”
D: “I’m super allergic to cats. My face breaks out in hives.”
Me: “Deal breaker.”
And so ends the possibility of a romance with Daniel, the guy who loves to travel.
Most often the conversations don’t get this far. Alex has five photos up, one of which is her with blonde highlights. One charming guy messaged her, “I wish I had met you when you were blonde.”
Last week I had a guy spell “Olimpics” wrong. Which is really hard to do because even if you’re that bad at spelling your iPhone autocorrects it.
Speaking of the Olympics, Alex also had a guy suggest a sleepover the night before the 5 am gold medal game.
My personal favorite: “Send me pics.”
We can laugh about the worst of Tinder (I’m sure there’s much worse than the examples above and I’d LOVE to hear them) but there’s a silver lining; the moment you’re not interested it’s very easy to move right along. No need to find a polite way out of the conversation. No awkward goodbyes. You don’t have to lie and say you’re going to the washroom meanwhile grabbing your friends and telling them we’re leaving this place NOW.
And within the pile of matches that quickly turn into a no, there’s a handful of stand up guys and some pretty fun dates to be had. Or maybe I’ve just been lucky and met the only three?