Written by: Lauren Steeves
By wasting time with the wrong people, you miss out on time that you could be spending with the right people, or at the very least a tall, delicious glass of Merlot.
Spring has sprung, and with the arrival of this new season comes a lot of cleaning, restarting and reevaluating. We tend to look at all aspects of our lives and wonder what we really need and what we need to let go of. And often times the urge to purge carries over to our relationships aka Goodbye Mr or Mrs. Netflix and Chill and Hello to Mr or Mrs. Patio Drinks and/or Weekend Hike.
But before you dive back into the dating pool, there are a few things you need to avoid doing to allow yourself to heal from your fresh breakup. While it may be tempting to make these dating no-no's, we strongly encourage you not to.
1. You want to pounce on the first guy or girl to give you attention.
If there's one thing we know about Millennials and Gen Ys, it's that we tend to be a little narcissistic. This means that we tend to flock to the first person to give us a compliment, a smile, or a swipe. And while these people could quite possibly be a good match for you, it's not the best idea to date the first person to give you the time of day. Before you latch on, you need to ask yourself if you're ready to dive back into a relationship and figure out what it is that you're looking for. Chances are you might be looking to fill a void, and sometimes you gotta put in a lot of self-love first.
2. You try and force every opportunity that comes walking on by.
Since you're so used to being in a relationship, it can be extremely scary to be out on your own again. But just because you're scared, it doesn't mean you should start forcing every opportunity. If a girl or guy asks you out and you're not attracted to them, don't say yes just to pass the time. By wasting time with the wrong people, you miss out on time that you could be spending with the right people, or at the very least a tall, delicious glass of Merlot.
3. You want to jump back into a relationship because you want to make your ex jealous.
Now I understand your ex might be a total asshole, but that doesn't mean that you should still give him or her power of your life. While it's tempting to throw up some pics of you and a new boo, just to make them wish they had you back – don't. You want to date someone because you actually want to date someone. Don't use people as prawns – it's just rude. Instead, make your ex jealous by flaunting your new life of freedom and show snaps of you and your crew going for patio drinks, taking a trip, or finishing up a sweat sesh. By you doing you, chances are your ex will wish he or she was too.
4. You try and fall in love real quick.
While we love us some TSwift, we don't know if she's the best spokesperson when it comes to relationships (although we will admit her breakup songs will help you heal). We all bared witness to Taylor's epic switch up from Calvin to Tom, and it seemed we hardly batted a lash before Tom was wearing an "I heart TS" t-shirt. While we do understand that sometimes a rebound relationship turns into a lasting love, it's not always the case – Where are Tom and Taylor now? Point proven. We all know you can't force love, and that the smell of desperation is strong. So rather than planning to marry the next guy or girl you meet, take things slow, play the field, and find out what you want, what you really, really want.
5. You overanalyze every fucking thing.
While us ladies are more prone to do this (guilty!), we know some guys that do this too. Stop trying to analyze every single text, look, and interaction and instead try and live in the moment. After all, being single and dating is supposed to be fun. Just think of How I Met Your Mother’s Ted, the infamous over analyzer took years to finally meet the love of his life, and in the end, it was Robyn all along. Don't be a Ted Mosby – what's meant to be will be.
Unfortunately getting back into the dating scene is never going to be easy, but by following these tips your single life is bound to be a lot more fun.