Why Social Media Stalking is Necessary

Written by: Mackenzie Strong

We do it, you do it, your friends do it: A look at why you should keep on creeping your crushes online. 

In-between 45 minute cat video binges and face timing with your bestie, social stalking our crushes/flings/flavours of the week has become one of the most popular past-times of our generation. Admit to it or not, we’re all guilty of eyeing the Facebook and Instagram feeds of the hottie in that 4pm spin class, and fortunately, we’re here to tell you to keep on creeping on, friends!

Now, stalking in real life of course is never safe – and double tapping their faces when they’ve done something cute may not fit into those things called “social norms” (and you probably will end up with a restraining order if you “swipe right" IRL.)  But from the safety behind your smartphone screen, you can gawk at their smokin’ hot bods all day long without them even knowing (as long as you’re careful with your fingertips). Thank you, Steve Jobs!

Let’s be honest; scrolling through the past five years of bae’s Facebook profile isn’t just something we do when we’ve got time to kill, it has become an integral part of testing those proverbial waters. Shortly after the first interaction, whether it’s simply a glance from across the bar or a full-fledged conversation, we’re jumping on FB, Twitter, Instagram, Vine and any other platforms we can get our hands on to dig up any dirt on what’s-his-face. Yes, sometimes we don’t even need a name – and like the little social media stalking leap frogs we are, jumping from a friend’s profile to another’s through the art of ‘social tagging’ has become second nature to us.

 

“He’s Sally’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s cousin. We’re practically acquaintances already.”

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate this ingenuity spawned from technology advances and the inception of social media networks. With a scan of his profiles online, you may just be able to discover your compatibility levels through a simple collection of posts. Pics of espresso shots, English bulldog puppies, and freshly baked pies he made from scratch? Basically a match made in Instagram heaven.

Now that you’ve deemed your crush a keeper from the content of his posts, we ought to dig a little deeper to the good stuff that ten years ago, would take several dates to discover.

Does he #WCW his mom? Total sweetheart, but without a doubt a complete momma’s boy.

Is the last #TBT a pic of the boys together at X-fest? Score – a mutual love for Jack White makes for a perfect conversation starter.

Does he #SelfieSunday every single week? Two words: Red. Flag.

Besides all these clever insights into the crush you may be courting, social ‘creeping’ brings us back to our preteen roots as we obsess over their digital photo albums – aka the plethora of eye candy just waiting for us to drool over. Before you know it, you’re scrolling through pictures of his band camp days of ’05, and what an adorable trumpet player he was! These are the hidden gems that are not only great pieces to ogle over with your best friends before the first date, but will prompt you to dig to the depths of your own profile for a social media audit (if you haven’t already). He’ll likely be social stalking you too - he doesn't need to witness that awkward stage in tenth grade.

Speaking of reminiscing for old time’s sake, the unspoken social rules have come a long way since MSN Messenger where you’d ask your best friend to see if your crush was online to see if he blocked you. Today’s spread of social media platforms is available for our stalking pleasure.- with the exception of LinkedIn where accidentally hitting ‘View Profile’ of hot new guy at work could result in you hiding under your desk for the remainder of the day.  (Just press ‘Connect’ which will cover up your accidental profile view as a professional networking gesture. You're welcome.)

Before we let you go back to drooling over Mr. Right, we’ll let you in on two of the major dos and don’ts of social media stalking:


Do add him as a friend once you feel it’s right to do so (this can depend on the situation of course, but meeting him in person once or twice warrants a friend request). Also, if you genuinely think one of his posts is rad, give it a thumbs up or a double tap. Don’t be overly conscious of where you acknowledge your social existence on his profile. Just remember, everything in moderation. 

Don’t click on the ex. Although we agree you’re much cooler than his new GF, obsessing over a past love's profile is never a good idea. You're more secure and confident than that! 

Got any other social stalking tips? Share them with us @datenightyyc!